Sore hands, check. Sunburnt neck, check. Aching arms, check. Yep, I just spent the entire day putting up a shed. It’s such a manly pursuit, the shed is simply and wholly a man’s world and what could be more manly than putting one up?
I’ll tell you. Spending all day, trying to figure out the instructions, letting about thirty “That’ll do” s out and finally, with a sigh of resignation, leaving the job half finished and going home. Now don’t get me wrong, we did a stella job, magnificent really; four walls, the door sliding mechanism thingy and one side of the first part of the thing you put in before you start putting on the roof. And don’t be thinking the three Wimble men are inept around the house; Dad is a veritable handy-man extraordinaire.
We once had plumbing problems upstairs, so he cut two huge holes in the wall behind the shower and underneath the bath on the way up the stairs, played around a bit and…ta da! All fixed. Good as new. He covered the hole in the wall by the stairs with a large map of the United States and used some kind of putty to wedge back into place the large piece of wall from behind the shower (it was in the hallway outside my room). After a couple of months, he even painted over the mortar so you couldn’t see he’d done it!
It wasn’t even our fault. The instructions on this DIY shed were simply ridiculous. Listed are A-P parts, all looking exactly the same, not to mention five and a half thousand screws/bolts/round metal thingys. The diagrams were straight from the minimalist artists handbook and at times I swear the artist thought to himself “That’ll do” and just stopped midsketch. The annotations also seem to say “This is the easiest thing you’ll ever do, in fact I’m going to write as little as possible to save ink…”
To be brutally honest, we probably did enough work to put up three sheds; what with putting that bar on, then realising it was wrong and putting it the other way around, then realising it was actually supposed to go the way it was first… but on the other side. Oh my, what a bonding experience for the Wimble males! Shouldn’t that go there? Or there? Why wouldn’t you just screw it where that little hole is? You need a drill, no a bigger drill or the screw won’t fit… oh what fun it was.
But anyways I digress, putting up a shed, the most manliest of manly pursuits, guaranteed to get you sweaty, annoyed and angry. I wonder if anyone can think of something that’s more many than that?